There Are no MEN
Tonight, it was a beautiful and windy rainy night. I ventured out into the streets to procure some libations to coat my throat. Ah, to dream and venture forth for drink.
I noticed a man walking in the rain, head covered in a hood. I had put down my umbrella to enjoy the light rain, plus it was gusty, and my umbrella was cheap.
He quietly ran past me, after probably walking behind me to see if I was female. Walks way to closely past me, then turns and says something trite to me. I just looked at him.
People have seemed to have forgotten, just because you speak to someone on the street, doesn’t mean you will receive a verbal answer. Furthermore, his behavior was wrong to brush past me so closely, especially since there was enough room for him to walk past.
I say nothing, he continues walking, and as he rounds the corner, he yells about m****f*** that we pull trains on. For those of you who don’t know what that means, that means a group raping of a woman. A woman is a human being. Women are not property. Women are not slaves who are to willingly and happily give up the rights to their body.
I read an article recently today, about how there are a lot of ex-cons on the street unable to find jobs. I realize the penal system disproportionately affects black and brown men.
I find myself living in a world, where too many men, as they like to refer to themselves, are not caring for their families, and find it their right and exercise of their masculinity and manhood to dehumanize and mistreat women. Women are harassed, abused, raped, beaten, and other atrocities for being women. Women are the ones who carry children for 9 months. Women are the ones who feed the young with their own breasts. Women are the ones who are doing the thankless tasks of motherhood. Women are trying to take back the night, nurture and heal themselves and others. When women speak, few listen. When women speak out, many criticize.
There are no MEN. The media will not speak on men, who are truly operating as co providers alongside women, those MEN who will speak out against abuse of their fellow human sisters. Where are the MEN who will stand up against the lowlifes who take on the title of man. When will society stop heralding “men” for being violent, expressing manhood through violence towards themselves, women, objectifying women, raping, killing, murdering, harassing, begging, instead of acting with dignity, wisdom and compassion.
You people who canvass the streets, preying on women and children, who parade around, hiding behind big cars, big jewelry, big talk, and your big dick. Are you nothing more than that? That is what your manhood is about, your masculinity is… a false strength rallying around bullying women, bullying the world, seeking to dominate and destroy as a sense of true strength?
Time to Give Up?
Eh, things are slow. I don’ t feel a lot of motivation to draw. I ended my fast this afterrnoon. I didn’t feel like I got much insight. At least, it was a peaceful experience. I still think I’m just as lost as I was when I began. People tell me, that the key to being successful is to be able to ride out the highs and lows. Maybe it’s because of limited resources that it’s becoming too much. Either way, I think what do I do now? Perhaps try to go back to school, or at least take an art class somewhere? Meh.
Yep
I haven’t been doing too much lately. Bored. It’s nice out but still need a jacket to go out. Wondering what direction I should head in, and how I can prolong my vacation.
Oh yeah, I decided to fast again. I’m thankful I haven’t freaked out this time. Today is day 3.
Say Anything
It’s been a while since I’ve written anything… Nothing really interesting going on. St. Patrick’s Day was a beautiful 69 degrees. I enjoyed some sunshine by the water.
Updates to that almost 20 mile bike adventure
Eh, funny how today I end up restless and getting up around 4:30 again. Then again, it’s not, and I’ve been having a headache that’s been going on for 3 days straight now.
Anyways, nothing like waking up, and heading to the beach to capture a moment like this. Eh? 
I eventually made my way through false prairies and such…
Legs Don’t Love Me
Well, let’s see… perhaps I was a little too enthusiastic. I need to change my bicycle seat, period. I figured ah, I just need to toughen up a bit, sense I haven’t ridden the bike in a while.
Well, the past few days, I’ve bike about 2 miles. Today was different. I decided to bike about 18 miles. My knees are fine, thanks to an adjusted seat height, but my thighs and bum don’t love me. It’s not really the bum, but close too.
Anyways, after a grueling trek back home, because I had to ride in gear 4, since i need to replace the chain, as it has problems downshifting any lower. I ran for a soak in the tub.
Pics to be edited in later. I’m still feeling pooped, but happy that I have a sense of accomplishment! Woo!
Another Week
Eh, rode my bike a little bit more today. My seat is freaking uncomfortable, but I’m wondering if that is just due to me not riding my bike often. My bum and legs are a little sore, mainly around the seat area, but I’m going to tough it out a bit. I cannot wait until it gets a little warmer. Traffic has been very light, and a lot of drivers thankfully pass me up.
I am without a phone now. So people can only get me by email for now. Grr…
Coming Soon To A Street Near You
Ok, I have never ridden my bicycle into the street before, with traffic. I also hadn’t ridden my bike it what seems like 3 years if not longer. I had my bike fixed up by the wonderful DJ in Hyde Park. Do go visit him! He’s awesome!
My bike rode ok, my fears were quelled. Whew! I think about it like the first time I did a tattoo, I was so nervous. Of course, if you mess up on a bike, it’s not as bad… Unless it results in serious injury or death. Never mind.
Anyways, I think I was overcharged a dollar or two by one of the local restaurants I frequent. I should have gotten an itemized receipt. Sigh.
My stickers came in! So once again, anyone interested, send an email to tearsdenoir@yahoo.com and I’ll send you an address to send to for stickers!
* Donation of $1 is all I ask! This helps me fund art supplies and make new, and more exciting sticker goodness! *
They are vinyl! Sweet! Compliments of the awesome folks at Sticker Guy!
Finally!
Day 27, the tongue finally splits. What seemed to me, to be too small a piece of binding floss pops out, along with my barbell, after pushing it forward. I was so able to see the bar. The split is pretty short, and I’m considering taking it back farther. I so like it very much though. I am concerned that I may not be able to take it back more than a few mm, considering where some minor veins are in the middle of my tongue, as well as where the webbing connects. My anatomy may not allow for it.
I am so happy that the tongue barbell is gone though. It was so troublesome, poking my gums at a weird angle, due to the split.
Keeping fingers crossed that it doesn’t try to reconnect. I feel at least, since it took as long as it did, the insides are pretty much healed, so hopefully they won’t fuse.
Day 24
Eh, ok things seem to be going more on track now. I was wiggling my tongue barbell a bit, and was able to pop it forward. So, I’m keeping fingers crossed that split will be done in 2 to 3 days now…
Yeah, I was so losing patience. Eh, my teeth are hurting me a bit, I think because the bar moves forward in my mouth, because I’m sucking it forward, especially in my sleep.
Oh yeah, I’m really going to make effort not to smoke, because my throat and chest are really bothering me. I’m sure the splitting isn’t helping things.
